Chapter 5: Sometimes Crazy Is An Option

Seasons Covered: Fall 1901 / Winter 1901

Fall 1901

So, I take a large risk and prevent Germany from obtaining Holland by bouncing him away. Germany usually gets two builds, but now, Germany only build. I also only received one build. France, however, the strongest power on the Diplomacy board, gained three builds. Italy went to Munich as he said he would, but Germany covered Munich, so the Italian attack failed. Russia gained two builds, Turkey one, and Italy one. Right now, France has the best position on the board and had the best 1901.

Alas, my fears got the best of me. Contrary to my suspicions, France and Germany did not attack me.

All the time and effort I spent worrying about being surrounded got the best of me.  I also lost the chance to convoy[1] my army to somewhere useful, such as Norway. 

Germany is upset. Within minutes of adjudication, he is raging, and it’s understandable, given that he bounced in both Munich and Holland.  I had my gripes also about his play, and we slapped each other around for 6 or 7 hours until we stopped.  My point to him was that I could not bring myself to ally with a person who won’t commit.  His point to me was that he could not commit to someone who took information from him to deny him a build.

I always try to add a little humor, but it does not always work.

More problems: Because I did not move to Belgium, everyone not named France is angry with me.  I’ve been in that spot before, so it’s in my wheelhouse.  My move guarantees mid-game survival for France, but it puts a big target on France, as well.  I wasn’t freaked out, but I knew it could be bad.  I knew we both would be building fleets in London and Brest.  On the other hand, if anyone could deal with the issue of having too many builds, I suspected it was both the country of France and the sophisticated player playing France.

France compliments me for something I did not intend to do. It is beautiful and frustrating to be given credit for the wrong reason.

Note to self: What’s a Winter Green?  Have to look that one up![2]]. We continue:

Damn, this Italy issue again. France can’t get past it.

Meanwhile, Austria is also begging for help.  He writes the following to everyone but France and Russia:

It sounds fake or genuinely desperate. He then wrote to EFG, asking for a Western Triple.

Everyone said yes to a Western Triple alliance, but I didn’t believe FG—particularly G.  I simply decided not to isolate myself further.

Italy also writes to say he’s worried, as well:

I now think IT may be a thing, or RIT, as Italy and Russia speak highly of each other in the press.

Austria and I have a nice bonding moment. The first of many, although Austria always mixes in the message actual he wants me to hear.

Everyone other than France is begging for EG.  The problem is that G and E can’t get on the same page, and I was tired of Germany only wanting me to do things that helped Germany.  I just couldn’t work it out.

I became incredibly fearful of a fleet build in StP.[3]  That would spell the end of my game.  I told Italy above and also Russia that if Russia built in St. Petersburg, I would strap on a suicide vest and give my centers to France.  Here’s my press with Russia:

We can see how my threats worked. Here are the builds for Winter 1901.

Winter 1901

Neither France nor I complained about the fleet builds, because neither of us had any choice. My suicide-bombing threat to Russia worked.  He did not build in St. Petersburg.  On the other hand, they hurt two of my Five Goals: Goal 1: Don’t be a prick; and Goal 2, writing with humor.

So, at the end of W 901, the first four of my Five Goals were gone.  I had been a prick; I stopped writing with humor; I had no friends; and I was England. Nevertheless, I could still get lucky.

Notes

[1] To “convoy” means to use one of your fleets to take an army from a space adjacent to the fleet to another space adjacent to the fleet.

[2] I did look it up.  A “winter green” is an alliance between Russia (winter) and Italy (green).  It is a pretty basic alliance that I should have known.

[3] When Russia goes North, it is typically bad for England.